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My Broken Little BirdMy hero cries out in pain,
Her captor getting in her head,
All of this to my disdain,
My vision is turning red.
So many nights,
So many tears,
They’re filled with fights,
And growing fears.
Her wings are broken,
Her cage is locked,
The words she has spoken,
Are lost and docked.
How am I to break her fall?
How am I to break the bars?
So much is lost, her body crawls,
Covered in all those battle scars.
My dying bird, my broken stone,
Laying at the bottom of the cage,
Laying in it all alone,
An actress on a stage.
We fell from the sky,
To live in a sickened hell,
I can only hear her cry,
And the breaking bones from when she fell.
My poor little broken bird,
Your body is on the floor,
Nothing left, not one word,
And I can’t watch you anymore.
2 – 5 – 2014
After The Knife BreaksThe knife is broken,
The pills are gone,
My single token,
A small white pawn.
I drank the bottle of booze,
So very long ago,
And of all the memories I had to lose,
Of all the people I let go.
So many years down the road,
And the pain is still here,
A brand new episode,
Of all those things I fear.
This time, I face it with my heart,
I face it with my soul,
Instead of tearing myself apart,
A set a brighter goal.
All of my tools of destruction,
Have all but decayed,
My new life is under construction,
Although you never stayed.
All those people are dead to me,
They will never return,
Yet they are the ones I want to see,
Before I let my old life burn.
My life had burned away to embers,
So that I could rise from the ashes,
No one cares, no one remembers,
How I got past the lashes.
But I remember, I remember the one light I ever knew,
That my one light, not matter how dim...
There Is A DarknessThere is something dark inside of me,
Something bubbling in my chest,
Something no one else can see,
Even when they try their best.
It is something that I cannot place,
Something I cannot put my finger on,
Maybe it's the anger in my face,
Or the fact that happiness is gone.
Maybe it is the pain in my heart,
Or the blinding tears,
Perhaps it is the way I start,
To vanquish all my fears.
It's there, and it is growing,
Faster than I could think,
It's taking over all my knowing,
And has brought me to the brink.
It is growing so damn fast,
I don't know if the good will last.
Believing Is HardIt's still hard to believe you're gone,
It feels like you have died,
It feels like you have stopped breathing,
Something that I have always denied.
It's still hard to believe that I can't see your face,
I cannot look into your eyes,
That I am losing my only place,
Among all of your lies.
There's nothing that will make you come home,
There is nothing that I can say,
To get you to hold me once more,
To bring you here to stay...
I am slowly beginning to fade,
Starting to slip out of your hands,
I am beginning to wish that I could trade,
To wash away these brands.
This brand of pain around my neck,
The breaking in my heart,
There is nothing I can do,
To keep from falling apart.
I just cannot believe you're gone,
And I miss you...
The Price Of EverythingThere is a price for all,
There is a price for me,
And a price for you,
That's how it will be.
There will always be a price for love,
A price for everything so dear,
But the question is, how much will it cost?
How much are you willing to pay?
For everything you want and need,
For everything you deem necessary,
To satisfy your greed.
How much are you willing to spend,
On every single kiss,
On every little lie,
For all of those you always miss?
How much will you pay,
Before death takes your breath away...?
What You Need To SeeI have waited so long for you to change,
But every day you get more strange.
I do not see why I'm still blind,
To every time I'm left behind.
I waited so long for you to see,
That the girl you want is really me.
I've been waiting for you to stop,
These feelings from going over the top.
But you just stood there and let them grow,
Even though you have to know.
That every night before I sleep,
Before I let the bad dreams creep.
Every night my body bleeds,
Before my tear recedes.
The blade crosses over my skin,
I give up, this is my sin.
Every night, my heart implodes,
Everything I am explodes.
Every night, that blade is slicing,
Through my skin, it's always dicing.
Pools of blood seep through the floor,
As you are walking in that door.
But still you fail to look and see,
That I have given up on me.
The Devil LifeAs my heart pounds, I hear the sounds.
The shredding and ripping, My mind is tipping.
Thorns and vines surround my being, There is no hope in fleeing.
Lift me up into the air, Feeling the pain of thorns so bare.
My life passes before my eyes, I see flashes of all the lies.
Tears fall down, and in them I drown.
I know that this is the end, This is where the angels descend.
See the light ahead, This must mean that I am dead.
The angels in disguise, Come to claim the prize.
Devil in my eyes so blue, Lies in a heart so true.
He steps forth from my chest, Yet I know I did my best.
Still he emerges from my mind, And in my heart guess what he'll find?
Found in my heart are traces of the past, a thing that went by much too fast.
You would understand the pain I felt, As on my broken soul he knelt.
Even though I hid it well, He knew how to break the spell.
Though I still try so hard to save, A boy that has dug his grave.
I will never give in or break, Because your soul is what he will take
Defining My PurposeThere is only one way to define,
How I walk this lonely line
I can walk it with or without you,
But this is something that I must do.
Because I am me,
And this is how it's got to be.
If you really want to define my actions,
You will have to stop thinking in fractions.
Because I am different, not the same,
And I won't play this stupid game.
I am vicious in soul and wild at heart,
And this is just the very start.
I've been consumed by the burning flame,
And I am the only one you that you will blame.
I've been the apple of your eye,
The stars in your midnight sky.
I have also been the one in pain,
The thunder before the pouring rain.
I have been your love and enemy,
But that's too much for you to see.
I will never be clearly defined,
And you will never know my sickened mind.
I Will Not Submit To FearYou'd better hold on tight,
Or just let me go,
Cause this ain't right,
We're not a show.
So love me more,
Or stop this dream,
I've been here before,
It makes me scream.
You'll take me high,
Then drop me down,
You'll make me cry,
And let me drown.
So make your choice,
And make it fast,
I won't rejoice,
Cause this won't last.
Wrap me in chains,
Or set me free,
Before it rains,
So I can see.
Take me away,
Or leave me here,
Cause I can't stay,
Wallowing in fear.
This isn't a game,
I'm not just a face,
Remember my name,
Or forget your place.
Either love me now,
Or love me never,
Reap what you plow,
Or start to sever.
Just don't lead me on,
When you're not my fate,
Cause when you are gone,
I'll still wait.
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
I Still Believe
I still believe in fairy tales
They are safe when all else fails
I believe in endless flight
I believe in day and night
I know that there is always pain
But also it can't always rain
So when the rain falls upon my face
My mind drifts off to a happier place
Far, far away where we once stayed
And once upon a time the game we played
The game that ended when I lost
And you got to see what it all cost
So the story goes on and on
Long past the time when we are gone
The pain that's buried in our souls
The pain that managed to burn its holes.
A pain that stayed long past our time
A pain that out rode all our crime.
So in the end my fairy tale thrives,
Just like yours in all our lives.
5 4 2010
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More