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My Broken Little BirdMy hero cries out in pain,
Her captor getting in her head,
All of this to my disdain,
My vision is turning red.
So many nights,
So many tears,
They’re filled with fights,
And growing fears.
Her wings are broken,
Her cage is locked,
The words she has spoken,
Are lost and docked.
How am I to break her fall?
How am I to break the bars?
So much is lost, her body crawls,
Covered in all those battle scars.
My dying bird, my broken stone,
Laying at the bottom of the cage,
Laying in it all alone,
An actress on a stage.
We fell from the sky,
To live in a sickened hell,
I can only hear her cry,
And the breaking bones from when she fell.
My poor little broken bird,
Your body is on the floor,
Nothing left, not one word,
And I can’t watch you anymore.
2 – 5 – 2014
After The Knife BreaksThe knife is broken,
The pills are gone,
My single token,
A small white pawn.
I drank the bottle of booze,
So very long ago,
And of all the memories I had to lose,
Of all the people I let go.
So many years down the road,
And the pain is still here,
A brand new episode,
Of all those things I fear.
This time, I face it with my heart,
I face it with my soul,
Instead of tearing myself apart,
A set a brighter goal.
All of my tools of destruction,
Have all but decayed,
My new life is under construction,
Although you never stayed.
All those people are dead to me,
They will never return,
Yet they are the ones I want to see,
Before I let my old life burn.
My life had burned away to embers,
So that I could rise from the ashes,
No one cares, no one remembers,
How I got past the lashes.
But I remember, I remember the one light I ever knew,
That my one light, not matter how dim...
There Is A DarknessThere is something dark inside of me,
Something bubbling in my chest,
Something no one else can see,
Even when they try their best.
It is something that I cannot place,
Something I cannot put my finger on,
Maybe it's the anger in my face,
Or the fact that happiness is gone.
Maybe it is the pain in my heart,
Or the blinding tears,
Perhaps it is the way I start,
To vanquish all my fears.
It's there, and it is growing,
Faster than I could think,
It's taking over all my knowing,
And has brought me to the brink.
It is growing so damn fast,
I don't know if the good will last.
Believing Is HardIt's still hard to believe you're gone,
It feels like you have died,
It feels like you have stopped breathing,
Something that I have always denied.
It's still hard to believe that I can't see your face,
I cannot look into your eyes,
That I am losing my only place,
Among all of your lies.
There's nothing that will make you come home,
There is nothing that I can say,
To get you to hold me once more,
To bring you here to stay...
I am slowly beginning to fade,
Starting to slip out of your hands,
I am beginning to wish that I could trade,
To wash away these brands.
This brand of pain around my neck,
The breaking in my heart,
There is nothing I can do,
To keep from falling apart.
I just cannot believe you're gone,
And I miss you...
The Price Of EverythingThere is a price for all,
There is a price for me,
And a price for you,
That's how it will be.
There will always be a price for love,
A price for everything so dear,
But the question is, how much will it cost?
How much are you willing to pay?
For everything you want and need,
For everything you deem necessary,
To satisfy your greed.
How much are you willing to spend,
On every single kiss,
On every little lie,
For all of those you always miss?
How much will you pay,
Before death takes your breath away...?
What You Need To SeeI have waited so long for you to change,
But every day you get more strange.
I do not see why I'm still blind,
To every time I'm left behind.
I waited so long for you to see,
That the girl you want is really me.
I've been waiting for you to stop,
These feelings from going over the top.
But you just stood there and let them grow,
Even though you have to know.
That every night before I sleep,
Before I let the bad dreams creep.
Every night my body bleeds,
Before my tear recedes.
The blade crosses over my skin,
I give up, this is my sin.
Every night, my heart implodes,
Everything I am explodes.
Every night, that blade is slicing,
Through my skin, it's always dicing.
Pools of blood seep through the floor,
As you are walking in that door.
But still you fail to look and see,
That I have given up on me.
The Devil LifeAs my heart pounds, I hear the sounds.
The shredding and ripping, My mind is tipping.
Thorns and vines surround my being, There is no hope in fleeing.
Lift me up into the air, Feeling the pain of thorns so bare.
My life passes before my eyes, I see flashes of all the lies.
Tears fall down, and in them I drown.
I know that this is the end, This is where the angels descend.
See the light ahead, This must mean that I am dead.
The angels in disguise, Come to claim the prize.
Devil in my eyes so blue, Lies in a heart so true.
He steps forth from my chest, Yet I know I did my best.
Still he emerges from my mind, And in my heart guess what he'll find?
Found in my heart are traces of the past, a thing that went by much too fast.
You would understand the pain I felt, As on my broken soul he knelt.
Even though I hid it well, He knew how to break the spell.
Though I still try so hard to save, A boy that has dug his grave.
I will never give in or break, Because your soul is what he will take
Defining My PurposeThere is only one way to define,
How I walk this lonely line
I can walk it with or without you,
But this is something that I must do.
Because I am me,
And this is how it's got to be.
If you really want to define my actions,
You will have to stop thinking in fractions.
Because I am different, not the same,
And I won't play this stupid game.
I am vicious in soul and wild at heart,
And this is just the very start.
I've been consumed by the burning flame,
And I am the only one you that you will blame.
I've been the apple of your eye,
The stars in your midnight sky.
I have also been the one in pain,
The thunder before the pouring rain.
I have been your love and enemy,
But that's too much for you to see.
I will never be clearly defined,
And you will never know my sickened mind.
I Will Not Submit To FearYou'd better hold on tight,
Or just let me go,
Cause this ain't right,
We're not a show.
So love me more,
Or stop this dream,
I've been here before,
It makes me scream.
You'll take me high,
Then drop me down,
You'll make me cry,
And let me drown.
So make your choice,
And make it fast,
I won't rejoice,
Cause this won't last.
Wrap me in chains,
Or set me free,
Before it rains,
So I can see.
Take me away,
Or leave me here,
Cause I can't stay,
Wallowing in fear.
This isn't a game,
I'm not just a face,
Remember my name,
Or forget your place.
Either love me now,
Or love me never,
Reap what you plow,
Or start to sever.
Just don't lead me on,
When you're not my fate,
Cause when you are gone,
I'll still wait.
lost my voice.I wrote "I love you"
in the sand at the beach.
The tide swallowed the words
and drowned them
before I could speak.
HauntedI see her there with
Coal dust carved
Into the icy skin
Under her eyes,
And on her lips
Dance a chorus
Of bitter lies.
A skeletal hand of smoke
Claws at my neck
Until I bleed;
She tells me that the pain
Is just what I need.
And her blood
Zooms in her veins
Like speeding cars.
She looks at me
At what I am.
She’s a snake,
In the guise
Of a lamb.
‘What happened to us?’
Of what I used to be.
‘I may be you,
But you are not me.’
The sun comes up:
Yesterday is gone
But see it this way;
The past is part of the future
But the future isn’t the past.
You choose which bits go,
You choose which bits last.
How to love a poet: Expect them to be flawed,
a field of wild flowered-
& an inability
Love them anyway.
Know that when they look at you
they are noticing the little things.
On WritingWrite for today
And like it’s all
That’ll be left of you
Never write for popularity.
Write with clarity, but
‘Don’t make everything said’.
Write a million things;
An ode to the voice
Inside your head,
An elegy for the living,
A carpe diem for the dead.
Write to tell
To just keep
They’ll find a way out.
Don’t write for approval,
That way misery lies.
Poetry can’t be judged,
Not properly –
Write for yourself;
Doesn’t matter if it’s
Good enough for
You’ll never be Shakespeare.
But he’d never
Have been you;
Pour your heart into it,
That’s the best
That you can do.
Loving A Guy Who Cannot Love Himself.Firstly, tell him that he doesn't necessarily need to be the “strongest” man in the world,
that if he cries, you won't look down on him for it,
that you won't call him weak.
Tell him that he doesn't have to like sports, or fishing, or football, or any of the “mainstream” things that boys are “supposed” to like.
Let him know that liking art, or dancing, or singing or acting doesn't make him gay, doesn’t make him any less of a man, it just makes him who he is.
A human being.
And for goodness sakes, tell him that blue does not have to be his favorite color, than he can indulge in pink, or purple or even magenta!
And to the girl who take on the task, remember please, that it is not always the Knight who saves the Princess.
No, this time, the Princess may need to save the Knight.
Do not pour your problems onto him, rather, balance each other out.
Be a shoulder to cry on. A friend to be there. A love that never leaves.
Perhaps more than often,
I Fell In love Inside of a DreamI fell in love,
inside of a dream.
And woke up,
with a broken heart.
But it wasn't my heart,
that was broken.
It was his,
and I'll never see him again.
That long haired, pale skin,
blue eyed boy, will forever remain,
a figment of my imagination.
So close, yet so far away.
And I will never be able to apologize,
for my mistake.
ShatteredIf I found you, on your knees,
trying desperately to collect the shattered pieces of your heart-
I would kneel beside you and help you pick them up.
I would not cast a blind eye,
and pretend I had not seen you.
If I saw that your hands had been cut,
by the very shards of hope you were trying so hard to gather-
I would take your hands in mine, and hold them until the pain subsided.
Then I would kiss every wound- no matter how big or how small,
until I was sure you would be able to use your hands again.
If you were crying from the fear that you'd never be able to pick up everything,
I would hold you until your tears stopped, and I would comfort you with gentle words.
But I would not lie to you- I would never lie.
The heart is a frail thing- once shattered, it can never be fully repaired.
Parts will remain missing, and the mended hope will always bear cracks.
If we found that we'd gathered all that we were able,
and that there were a fine powder remaining of what we could not collect.
veinte.i am regressing
i am regressing
i am regressing
i am regressing
you are not a dynamic character.
this is not your story.
you are static.
you are static.
this is not your story.
you are not allowed to fly.
i am regressing
i am regressing
i am regressing
(there is no one to talk to anymore because you feel the need to hide away all of your feelings; you don't talk to people because you cannot pretend to be happy with people that know you are not; you can't keep doing this you can't keep doing this; you're killing yourself and you don't even realize it; you're going to explode one day)
I Still Believe
I still believe in fairy tales
They are safe when all else fails
I believe in endless flight
I believe in day and night
I know that there is always pain
But also it can't always rain
So when the rain falls upon my face
My mind drifts off to a happier place
Far, far away where we once stayed
And once upon a time the game we played
The game that ended when I lost
And you got to see what it all cost
So the story goes on and on
Long past the time when we are gone
The pain that's buried in our souls
The pain that managed to burn its holes.
A pain that stayed long past our time
A pain that out rode all our crime.
So in the end my fairy tale thrives,
Just like yours in all our lives.
5 4 2010
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